Three Hundred & Twenty Six :: plenty more fish in the sea, originally uploaded by charlierobinson1966.
The past two weeks have been confusing. There have been many ups and downs. Many friends have offered advise and help but this time I stood firm. I would sort this out and cope on my own (the occasional shoulder to cry on was good though LOL). The two weeks before this was similar but I leaned on friends too much, they got too involved and it ended in tears and upsets. So, you could say this month has been a great learning for me.
In this two week period I have defended and deflected and encouraged and rationalised and reasoned and hung in there.
Turns out, the person I was doing it for didn’t deserve it. Didn’t know that at the time…
But… that’s the funny thing about life I guess. We learn things unexpectedly and we stretch ourselves and it all makes us better people, but we can’t change how another person behaves and acts and treats another.
I guess I was practising what I preach – because I always say to my kids “don’t act to another’s standard – go your own way”.
In this instance I have been treated shabbily. In fact, I continue to be treated shabbily. I have possessions that belong to another that I am unable to dispose of because the law could come down on me if I do. I have been ignored, I have had things said about me that are totally unfair and false and yet I am at a loss to understand what it is I have done to deserve such treatment. Except give someone my heart, my trust and my patience. I now have silence. A last message from them ended with a “mwah xxx”. What changed? What happened? I will never know. I now don’t want to know. It is obviously not for me to ever know the truth. I move on with an open heart, just a stronger self.
These new learnings of mine, my heart, my trust and my new patience will all remain with me. Forever. In the one instance the person I was doing it for was undeserving, but I feel better for it. So, that’s a start. A good start.
xc
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