Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Three Hundred & Twenty Six :: plenty more fish in the sea

The past two weeks have been confusing. There have been many ups and downs. Many friends have offered advise and help but this time I stood firm. I would sort this out and cope on my own (the occasional shoulder to cry on was good though LOL). The two weeks before this was similar but I leaned on friends too much, they got too involved and it ended in tears and upsets. So, you could say this month has been a great learning for me.

In this two week period I have defended and deflected and encouraged and rationalised and reasoned and hung in there.

Turns out, the person I was doing it for didn’t deserve it. Didn’t know that at the time…

But… that’s the funny thing about life I guess. We learn things unexpectedly and we stretch ourselves and it all makes us better people, but we can’t change how another person behaves and acts and treats another.

I guess I was practising what I preach – because I always say to my kids “don’t act to another’s standard – go your own way”.

In this instance I have been treated shabbily. In fact, I continue to be treated shabbily. I have possessions that belong to another that I am unable to dispose of because the law could come down on me if I do. I have been ignored, I have had things said about me that are totally unfair and false and yet I am at a loss to understand what it is I have done to deserve such treatment. Except give someone my heart, my trust and my patience. I now have silence. A last message from them ended with a “mwah xxx”. What changed? What happened? I will never know. I now don’t want to know. It is obviously not for me to ever know the truth. I move on with an open heart, just a stronger self.

These new learnings of mine, my heart, my trust and my new patience will all remain with me. Forever. In the one instance the person I was doing it for was undeserving, but I feel better for it. So, that’s a start. A good start.


blog comments powered by Disqus