Sunday, July 5, 2009

Day One Hundred & Seventy Nine

a day of mixed emotions.

really hapi for amber as she's off on hols to see her dad. he lives in england.

really sad because the last time i let her go, he didn't send her back (or even let her see me) for 9 years. too many emotions in that little bundle to explain via a blog however i suspect you can imagine the underlying tension in taking her to the airport today. we ended up yelling at each other. which of course i feel really bad about. but we hugged goodbye and i cried after she left. and i want her to come home sooner rather than later.

so much sweetness from her friends today. they want her home too.

this is one of those moves that needs to be done. for her as well as me. she needs to move on to love and i need to trust again. perhaps it will be a healing time for us both. i do hope so. everyone needs a healthy relationship with both their mummy and daddy... and no-one needs scraps. and she's still a kid, even if she does act all grown up sometimes.

the cutest thing today was when i put my foot down for her and said she had to go as unaccompanied minor to the attendant. her dad hadn't booked her as such and she freaked out. in my stupidity i thought this was sensible because of her age really. HOWEVER the look of relief when i changed my mind for her. i guess it's the little things we have to watch for. a lesson learnt. xc

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