Three Hundred & Thirteen

Three Hundred & Thirteen, originally uploaded by charlierobinson1966.

a ball with fun. a ball with class. a ball to let you hair down. i survived the speeches, the auction, the food, and my beautiful girlfriend being swept off her feet all night and got home safely having won a dinner out in one of the raffles. woot woot.

have had a tough week (month) not knowing what is going on in my personal relationship. one day things look OK and the next it's all gone pair shaped. friday nite the straw that broke the camels back happened. and there was an atomic reaction amongst my group of friends. i sinned and wrote on a persons facebook fan wall when I shouldnt have and various other things happened that I wont go into here - but lets just say it got messy. i got three hours sleep.

my close friends have been there for me for this past month whilst all this has been going on. it's been hard. i havent done anything like this before AND im learning a lot (more) about myself and what I will tolerate (and what I wont) but i'm human and i have a history and i have "ways". it's what makes me - and it's what makes me unique. i can only apologise for so many things... my best friends accept me unconditionally and with no strings attached.

i do know for example that people have triggers. i have an EXCEPTIONALLY BAD trigger when a person uses the "C" word. in fact - on Melbourne Cup day a friend discovered how bad when i tipped a glass of wine over his face (it's OK, he tipped on back).

I also have discovered a trigger for when I think a person is cheating on me. I dont react well. so, knowing this - what do I/can I do to help myself? fix myself? stop myself being "triggered?. well, it's a good question.

what seemed like an exceptionally poor form scenario ended up being far more innocent than intended. but then the question begs, why not be upfront and let me know? and that's where i have the problem and the trigger and things go pear shaped.

maybe someone would like to counsel me who is an expert? from what ive sen though, even experts dont get it right. in fact they get it very very wrong. so, i guess we are all human. what do you think? xc